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Where Is My Happy Ending? [Fan Feature]

Published: November 14, 2011 in Tech N9ne by

Technician Wade AbbasThe harrowing words, the evoked raw emotion, the dark abyss that swallows us whole, it’s a more common complexity of emotions, than some people think. Techs words seep in, they bleed through us, tear through our souls and sing us out of our darkest personal hell.

“What about me? Where is my happy ending? Is this a life worth living?” (“Happy Ending” Killer)

The roads we walk through in life no matter if they are well paved, or strewn with obstacles that might be hard for us to overcome, inevitably lead to the self-imposed question: “Will it ever get better?” Some just feel alone, some reach for help and some fall.

Wade Abbas of San Bernardino, CA comes from a hard walk of life. His parents divorced at an early age, and his mother wasn’t around much. He never knew why. No matter whom you are, this is never an easy life to live.

Wade's daughterIn Wade’s early 20s, he was going through a hard time, experimenting with meth, alcohol and heroin. This harsh lifestyle is never easy for families especially the ones that are closest to you. For Wade, his problems resulted in the loss of his girlfriend and their two beautiful children. A loss more painful then anyone can imagine unless you have experienced it yourself.

With the loneliness and the drug induced psychosis from lack of sleep, Wade was alone.

“I felt abandoned and excluded from the very people I had come to love. I did more drugs, but I couldn’t step away from it.”

After calling everyone he knew, desperate for someone, looking for support, he received no response. Wade was in tears after a friend told him, “Sounds like your dealing with stuff right now, so I’ll let you go.” He was reaching, but no one was there to catch him.

“I hung up the phone and loaded a bullet into my revolver. I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and began sobbing harder than ever. There was music faintly playing from my laptop with drugs scattered into lines on top of it… I didn’t pay much attention. I put the revolver in my mouth, still crying, hurting, and that’s when I heard it.”

“I’ve been sitting here by myself thinking momma what have I become, all I wanted was family but when I look up, you’re the only one losing, losing everything but money, and I don’t even get to see my young.” (“Happy Ending, Killer)

Wade put the gun down.

Even to this day, as Wade wrote this email to me, the song like many others, still gives Wade chills.

“You know how it begins, but how does it end for me? Will I ever win, or does he have it in for me? Will this stop before I stop breathing? Is their light, in this dark I’m seeing?” (“Happy Ending” Killer)

Wade is now a year-and-a-half sober ever since that night. He has gotten 40% custody of his kids back, and what he values the most, he still has his life. The only musician Wade would ever get a tattoo for is Tech N9ne, located on his neck. Tech is the realest MC he has ever heard and he saved his life. To show his full appreciation for Tech, Wade now buys seven copies of all of Tech’s albums. Wade states,

“Technician I am, Technician I will always be. I owe my life to Tech. Aa-ooo! Aa-ooo! Aa-oo!”

We hear many words from Tech’s albums. Tech can capture a darkness so many of us have been to, have felt, and have lost ourselves to. With Tech N9ne’s music we feel his channeled pain, hurt, and anger, His music not only makes us bounce, but also reaches deep into our souls. In this case, his music saved Wade Abbas’ life.

Tech N9ne Tattoo

– Written by Marissa Knight

  • swen

    I have to say I can relate I have had some dark days. When ever I feel like I can’t take it any more tech guides me back into the light technician I am and will always be thank you tech.

  • Rasengan

    shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit !!! i almost cried!

  • Richard Lucas

    Crazy story. That’s kinda what it means to be a technician man. Overcome and conquer the obstacles that are placed before you. Not everyone’s obstacles are the same or as extreme as those depicted in this story but that’s what we do.

    Ps @the author, you misquoted the following set of lyrics:

    “I’ve been sitting here by myself thinking momma what have I become, all I wanted was family but when I look up, you’re the only one losing, losing everything but money, and I don’t even get to see my young.” (“Happy Ending, Killer)

  • Luisa Yebra

    I didnt even know this was written until i stumbled across it….as i started reading this my eyes got watery but as i read the part that states” Wade was in tears after a friend told him “Sounds like your dealing with stuff right now, so I’ll let you go.” i broke down in tears because that friend was me….. i felt a feeling i never felt before…i was heart broken because i didnt realize that i had let him down and what it meant to him until i seen this story… one day he told me  how he felt and the reason for some things were ause he felt he couldnt trust me and it was all because i wasnt there for him the night he needed me the most…. i swear if  i knew that night what u were really going thru i would have been there for u….i wouldnt have left you alone at a time like that…. i had no idea i couldnt even hear it in your voice…. IM SORRY …..this was more than a year ago and i have been here for him thru another difficult time in his life… i was the first one to be there for him this time and it wont be the last either…. im grateful to have you in my life  and thanks  for our amazing  friendship… i dont know what i would have done if you would have pulled that trigger…..just know im here for you always and forever….you know im just a phone call away no matter where you are…youll never be too far…I Love You!!!!!


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