Luckily when we’re full of trouble, doubt and despair, when there seems to be no one around to lean on for help, music can get us through.
From talking to all the Technicians that send us their heart-wrenching stories of triumph, we are moved beyond words that one man’s music could be the source of their strength in the face of seemingly-impossible adversity.
One of those stories is from Kelsey Christman.
The 23-year-old mother of one wrote an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org that read as follows
Thanx for all that you do- if not for strange music and tech n9ne especially i would have never made it through the last 5 years of my life…i lost several friends and family to death, ive lived through a physically and emotionally abusive relationship for four years( i finally left him last january)I’ve been through quite alot in such a small time yet I’ve managed to always keep a smile on my face. And alot of that has to do with strange music. Anywhere you look in my life you’ll find a little somethin (^S^)trange thank you again for everything-he doesnt knownit but tech n9ne is the number one pwrson id give anything to meet in the world. Hopefully i can afford the vip so i can meet him in sioux falls sd on 4/19! Much love from an uber happy fan!
We reached out to Kelsey, who was more than happy to share her story with us.
Here’s what she had to say…
How did you first get introduced to Strange Music and Tech N9ne?
I’d have to say it was my older step brother Billy, who first played Tech for me when I was 12. I remember cruising around with him and his friends in his Monte Carlo and hearing “This Ring” for the first time. I was instantly in love with his voice and the way his words seemed to glide.
What is it about Tech N9ne’s music that you love so much?
What I love about Tech N9ne’s music is that the moods are so diverse. I can listen to his music in any mood: whether I’m mad, sad, nervous, lonely, getting amped to go out or simply just cleaning. It always sets a perfect mood for what I am doing or feeling.
You say that you’ve lost several friends and family to death recently, please explain what happened.
I have lost a few dozen close friends and family over the last six years. It has been very hard on me.
I suppose the first to set the ball rolling that was the hardest was my grandfather in 2007. He was important to me because he helped raise me, was there when my father wasn’t, and was always around to help. In 2005 he found out that he had cancer. What made it the hardest was that I was pregnant for four months before he died. My family advised that I didn’t tell him because they said it would be to hard on him knowing he would never meet my son, and he didn’t.
Another was just a few weeks after my grandpa: my good friend Ashleigh passed. She was a few years younger than me but so happy. She died in a car crash a few weeks before her 16th birthday that same year.
Not too long after her, my uncle Kenny also died of cancer. He was my stepmom’s brother and he always made me feel so welcome at her family events.
A month later another uncle who I was not as close to as the others died completely unexpectedly.
The one that I’m having a lot of trouble with right now, is my great friend Frank. Frank died 11/6/11 and we buried him on Veteran’s Day: 11/11/11. I knew Frank for 10 years, he was one of my best friends. He was, had a two-year-old son and had served overseas for our country. He died of cancer. I visited almost everyday. His mom told me after he passed that I was one of the few that stuck by his side at the end, that I pushed past the pain of seeing a friend dying and continued to see just “Frankus”. I miss him to death.
You also said you just got out of an abusive relationship, please explain.
The relationship ship I was in was terrible – obviously not always, or I wouldn’t of stayed for four years but it took its toll. He was my older brother’s best friend.
We started dating January 1, 2008. I was six months pregnant with another man’s baby at the time. I had just turned 18, and decided that since I’m the oldest of 10 kids, I was going to move in with my father where it was a little more quiet. As it turns out, Dad was smarter than I was. He hated that man, and a month later when I was seven months pregnant kicked us out.
I ended up staying with the guy’s parents and him. It was fine at first, but slowly any control I had over myself or my child was taken over. It didn’t help that my son was born with a tumor in his mouth and that I was so lost and scared. I didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. The man was easily angered and when angry would call me every name in the book, would break things, yell and run off. It wasn’t too long before being called a “cunt” was like being called “sweetie.” It was thrown at me so often it didn’t even phase me. Not to mention I’m overly nice. I try to help anyone I can. I’d give his parents money and they would just want more and more.
Eventually after enough name calling and put-downs, giving all that I had and all that I could and still not feeling it was good enough, I had no self-esteem. I thought so lowly of myself. “Happy Ending” and ”So Lonely” were definitely songs that helped me out. It was nice to know i wasn’t the only person in the world feeling so…“Low”.
There were several times that i’d hide away in the bathroom while my son was sleeping and play as much upbeat Tech as I could to change my mood. I wanted to die and I felt my son would better off without the likes of me. I felt unworthy of his beauty.
Tech always fixed me, always brought me away from my darkness. His music pulled me out of my suicidal thoughts.
I left that man 01/30/12, and I’m a better person now for knowing that feeling and that treatment. I’m thankful for that time in my life it showed me what I want in life, and most importantly, what I dont want.
How did Tech N9ne and Strange Music help you through this?
The music helped me though because it made me see that even someone as great and as big as him could feel that way, but he was still around. He fought through the mental torment and so I felt I could too. And his more upbeat, more party music or even music that would give the listener the thought that he knew his worth despite the way others treated him made me think maybe I’m not so bad after all.
What are your favorite songs by Tech N9ne? Why?
Its hard to pinpoint favorite songs. I truly love them all. Lately if I’m feeling down “Alone” is a favorite. The line “You would think me being me I would be alone” always makes me realize I am me, and I am loved by many. “Ugly Duckling” is a fav because it reminds me of how I felt in that terrible relationship. It’s true that nothing’s worse than knowing you’re beautiful but you’re treated like an ugly duckling, which is how I felt before I truly started to lose all my self-esteem.
If you were able to say one thing to Tech N9ne, what would it be?
If I could say anything to Aaron it would be thank you for being there lyrically for me for the last 13 years, for any mood. I truly love you for that, not in a groupie hop-in-bed-with-you kind of way, but in a “you’re a beautiful soul in the world who saved my life” kind of way. I wouldn’t be here today if not for what he does, and all of Strange Music for that matter. They are in all that I do.
How has Tech N9ne or Strange Music affected your life?
Send your stories to email@example.com!
- What did you think of Kelsey’s story?
- What songs help you get through tough times?
Leave your thoughts in the comments section below.