Being a father and a musician, MURS lives a duel life.
Fresh off the Special Effects Tour, MURS experiences two different lifestyles: one as a musician and one as a father. He recently spoke with Urblife.com to speak a bit about both of these aspects, going into depth about the process of adopting his toddler and teenager.
Crediting his wife for holding down the fort during his time on the road, MURS discusses adopting his toddler, Bishop, finding a middle ground of communication between both him and their teen.
Funny enough, I don’t talk to my baby any differently than I talk to my teenager. My mom doesn’t agree and some parents don’t but the funny thing is before I had my baby I was very conscious about my language around babies, and everything and now I curse sometimes and say whatever comes up. I feel like my toddler can pick up on my sincerity and If I use a curse word then he knows I’m serious. I don’t have to raise my voice. I don’t wanna yell. I don’t wanna be angry at him.
Little did he know adopting these kids would be no cake walk. After changing their mind from adopting a child from Ethiopia and deciding to look in the US, he went in detail about the complicated adoption process and how the system continued to surprise him.
We probably applied to 40 or 50 other kids. The Ethiopian kid we applied for they sent us a letter saying, “Are you prepared to adopt a child of color?” and I’m like “We’re a family of colors. Did you not look at our pictures? Did you not read the federal document that we spent all this time putting together?…” Then, “Are you aware that this child is from another country?” and I say “Yes. We visited there and plan on continuing to visit there that’s why we’re applying. But all of this is in the 10-page document.” They say, “We don’t have time to read those” so I say “then what are you getting paid for?” so it’s ridiculous.
With the adoption agency throwing him and his wife for a loop and giving them 48 hours to pick up their infant son from South Carolina on zero notice, they managed to put together what they needed last-minute and adopted Bishop. MURS tells the story of the process of adopting his other son, whom, due to complications with the family, returned back to foster care. Fortunately, he did return with a positive message throughout the experience on what to do for future parents who are contemplating adopting a teen.
I really believe in the system, the [focus] shouldn’t be on the parents to prove they’re worthy; it should be on the teens. If families like myself are willing to take teens, then it should the teens who have to write a letter to the parents to why they need or deserve a home… make sure you open up a line of communication with that teen via their social worker, and have them write you a couple of essays on why they should be in your home. Let them tell their past stories and make sure you uncover all of the paperwork on your teenager before bringing them in.
Not allowing the troubles of foster care disrupt his family life, MURS continues to take hardships on with stride, always coming out the other side with positivity and love to give.
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- Would you consider adopting after reading MURS’ story? Why or why not?
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