Tech N9ne is known as many things: co-founder of the hugely successful independent hip-hop label Strange Music, one of the best live performers in the game, a quick-tongued lyricist who pours his heart in his music, and an icon to some of the most fanatical supporters this side of the Grateful Dead. But there’s one thing about the man born Aaron Dontez Yates that isn’t always recognized, and that’s Kansas City, Missouri, native’s outspoken appreciation of the opposite gender.
The proof is right there in his apparent in Tech’s 2009 power ballad to one of his favorite parts of the female anatomy, “Areola.” The song’s first bar alone is capable of getting a chick to swoon and hop on her man’s shoulders to show Tech her own nips at live shows; we’ve seen it firsthand, and it’s glorious. Seeing how dedicated the Strange Music capo is to women, we decided turn the attention away from music for a moment and ask the veteran MC-whose sixth solo album, All 6′s and 7′s, hits stores on June 7-to elaborate on the ten famous ladies he loves the most.
10. ANGELA BASSETT
Tech N9ne says: I think she’s wonderful. Have you seen her athletic body? It’s like you always want to kiss her lips when she’s talking. Her teeth are wonderful, too. Do you see how white her teeth are when she smiles? I watch Tina Turner all the time [whom Bassett portrayed in What's Love Got to Do With It?] to see her do her teeth like that. It’s like her arms can knock the hell out of someone. She looks so good.
9. JANELLE MONAE
Tech N9ne says: Number nine has to be someone good. It’s the number of completion. It’s somebody I know, too. It’s somebody who said that if they won the award [at the 2009 Left Field Woodie Award], they would give it to me. I thought she was the fuckin’ most beautiful, cutest little thing: Janelle Monae. She gave me a big hug at the MTV Awards and she said, “Tech, you remember me?!” and I was like “Yeah!”
She was young. It was a long time ago and I forgot that it was her. We were nominated for the same award and she said, “Tech, I love what you do and if I win, I’m gonna give it to you.” But I won and shit, so I should’ve gave it to her. I never won anything so I kept it. I think she’s so beautiful. She has her own hairstyle. She can dance, she can move, she has a wonderful voice-she’s multitalented. And, I don’t know what they do to her skin, but her skin is fuckin’ impeccable. It’s perfect. She looks like a cartoon character, in a good way.
8. BERNICE BURGOS
Tech N9ne says: The King model, Bernice Burgos, she’s amazingly beautiful. I can’t even tell what nationality she is. She’s darker than me but she looks like it’s something else. Her body is fuckin’ impeccable. Her teeth look like they’re fake they’re so straight.
I saw her at Sirius Satellite Radio like three times while I was in New York doing something for XXL. She happened to be on the same panel. I didn’t even notice while she was sitting right next to me. I noticed she was beautiful, but when we were leaving they was like, “Did you see her ass?” And I was like “No!” I didn’t look at her like that. Then I saw her by the back and I was like, “Whoa!” It was like, all the way the other way. I didn’t even know the little girl was sittin’ on that. It was crazy.
I told [the people at] King to ask her to go to dinner before I left but I got so busy I couldn’t do it. I was just being nice.
7. LIL’ KIM
Tech N9ne says: I always really secretly dug Lil’ Kim. I wouldn’t have said that at first but I’ve always secretly dug her; maybe not “secretly” ’cause I wrote a song about it. I think her voice is amazing, the way she busts rhymes and shit. She’s sexy, too. I liked her with her regular nose and regular lips. I still got pictures of her when she was regular. She was way better to me natural. I still like her as a Barbie doll. She’s like a blow-up doll to me; I still like her that way, too.
I remember I wanted her to be the lady as a tiger on the inside of my Killer [album] cover. She was my first choice but she wanted seventy-five thousand. I was like, “Damn lady!” I ain’t got that much in my budget at that time. So, I didn’t get her with me. Maybe one day I’ll do a song with her.
6. KATY PERRY
Tech N9ne says: Her eyes are super dreamy and her teeth are fuckin’ perfect. I have a song on my [Bad Season] mixtape I did with Whoo Kid called “Lick Your Teeth.” [Singing] “Baby, can I lick your teeth? From where I’m at your mouth looks so sweet. So all you gotta do is smile for me ’cause if I’m into you I’ll lick your teeth.” She looks like somebody [who would make me want] to would lick her teeth.
Tech N9ne says: I think Ciara is one sexy thing, but she’s young. Real smooth and sexy body. I love bitches that can dance. Just because I’m saying “bitches” doesn’t meean I’m calling her that. I just love women that can dance and move and pop they ass like she does. The first time I met her was at a BET awards pre-show thing. After I was introduced to her, the first thing she said was “I can’t wait to work with you.” That was years ago when she had her first single out. So hopefully, one day. She was slightly taller than me, but she’s cool.
Tech N9ne says: She’ll show you how to fuck and suck, I’ll tell you that. She’s a porn star. She has an amazing booty and she sucks dick like I’ve never seen before. I’ve never seen somebody suck dick like that in my life. I’ve never seen somebody ride a dick like she does in life and I’m 39 years old. That’s 39 years of having bitches ride and suck and everything and I’ve never seen it how she does it. It’s amazing. I have DVDs of her. I have the Best Of Pinky. I still watch her from time to time. I just found out about her a couple years ago.
3. MILLA JOVOVICH
Tech N9ne says: Her eyes are fucking amazing. I have seen all the Resident Evil [movies]. How about, I’ve seen every movie with her in it? How about the first movie I ever saw her in was The Fifth Element?
2. HALLE BERRY
Tech N9ne says: I think she’s a remarkable actress and she’s so beautiful. She’s amazing. She’s got smooth skin-I love it.
1. JENNIFER LOPEZ
Tech N9ne says: She’s beautiful and she’s the master of her universe. She’s the master of everything. She started as a dancer. She probably started as something else before a dancer and then she parlayed her way into a singer, movie star, clothing designer, everything. She’s just the master of her universe. I think that’s super sexy.