Personally I'm a christian have been for many years. I wanna say to you that whatever you are searching for in God you will soon find one day. All you can do is pray and have faith.One thing I've learned is that "faith takes balls" Faith means (To hope for things which are not true, but which are seen) Hebrews 11:1Look at where you are now! God gave you this gift to rap and inspire other to reach out and seek they're dreams. God has big plans for you. Because your going through hard times doesn't mean he doesn't exist. Praise and Worship will bring you peace. God can only try to help your loved ones. You probably won't read this, but I just wanted to show you Gods glory.God BlessNiqu'o Garrett