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Thread: constructive critisism needed

  1. #1

    constructive critisism needed

    welll i wrote a rap at home today ive been wrtiting for a while this came up pretty quick took me 5 min to write this but i need pro opinion specially from people who have a year for good music so anything u can add to this to make me better will help btw the instrumental is d12 american psycho2




  2. #2
    aight u can watch it now

    Quote Originally Posted by Benjmain Smith
    My year for music iz pretty good...

    Wait a fuckin minute... my year for muzic fuckin SUCKED! And the year before that SUCKED! If I didn't know any better, I'd say my muzic SUCKS. YEAR AFTER FUCKIN YEAR!

    Well I'll tell you sumthin that doezn't suck, I have an extra $4 in my pocket and the hardware store haz extension chords on sale... No more sucky yearz in muzic for me... more sucky years. Period. I got a date with the ceiling fan!

    But seriously folks...
    You didn't write that in 5 minutes, thats called a cop out when you think your shit sucks so you automatically tag an excuse on it.
    But I liked it.
    And my ear for muzic is alright I think

    Also, I lied, I can't listen to it, cuz of privacy settings or sum shit like that.

  3. #3
    thanks bro so u mean just leave fuckin out or replace it with other words

    Quote Originally Posted by iKING
    When I battle, I make sure to target the things that matters most to them and get them self conscious. You need shit like that. And don't use fuckin to fill your lines, it'll come out better.

  4. #4
    Senior Member a tie a's Avatar
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    first couple of lines were ehh.... do you even have a gun lol?
    delivery was all right... memorize ur track tho and ull probably be able to have a more comfortable flow
    and ya when u diss, try to get more personal jabs at whoever ur dissing :P

  5. #5
    lmao i actually do but yeah i sorta feel of o memorized it would have come out better

    Quote Originally Posted by a tie a
    first couple of lines were ehh.... do you even have a gun lol?
    delivery was all right... memorize ur track tho and ull probably be able to have a more comfortable flow
    and ya when u diss, try to get more personal jabs at whoever ur dissing :P

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