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Thread: Is This Lyrical 2

  1. #1
    Senior Member ShaneM's Avatar
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    Oct 2008

    Is This Lyrical 2

    Last time I posted a verse on here I got some helpful tips. And I used some of them tips and am curious on what else the trtn people could give to me to help my writing improve. So although this doesn't have anything thats real deep or meaningful, does anyone think its lyrical and why?

    Somethin ta come with uh head huntin flow, nothin but droppin the best I can go

    Tuggin and sluggin and lovin and chuggin and snuggin and clutchin the pumped in no pluggin ears

    Buggin confrontin me dumpin these bumpin schemes slumpin me comin weak just shit dream nothin near

    Drunk with the bussin the led spittin flow, nuff of the gun poppin now rest be more slow

    I arrived to the beat, so I could distinguish waves

    Of bars then make the instrumental disintigrate

    My main objective to murder the beat makin stabs at it

    My tongue a mighty javalin attackin to pass the skin

    Honestly still wanna make tweaks, godly astonishing feat.

    Wanna make a verse so cold I'll be unthawing for weeks

    Talk about pushing the peak, cautious when plotting on beats

    Gotta make a verse so dope the beats drugs like weed

    Constant practice the best advice when you look on the internet

    Not much to go off so I write and I hope I figure best

    Method to use but I greatly improved sense I first got interest and

    Gettin a boost from my redundent use and leaving rappers inspected

    Something good or bad to say or nothing at all, let me have it.

  2. #2

    I'm not really feeling it. I'd like to note, that in some cases for what ever reason, sometimes its hard to tell which direction an artist is trying to go until its recorded in audio format. words dope or not, it also has a lot to do with delivery. don't focus on just one thing either. I did that, and ya i can write, but now im playin catch up with the recording programs, my flow and sound. btw. dont necassarily take my advice. its only an opinion and someone more educated or experienced may have something different to say. but i figured if at least comment since nobody has yet.

  3. #3

    shit was actually good bro..... your multi -syllable rhymes were dope, i like the lyrical content, you should have used your computers sound recorder and recorded this and then posted it........ alot of people that dont rap arent gonna get the rhyme structure and how things are supposed to flow...... if you dont feel like you can do it verbally then just practice it until it sounds coming out of your mouth the way it does in your head..... other then that homie shit was pretty dope.....

    you should check out a website i use called it a great way to get some critiques on your lyricss and/or music period..... if battling isn't your thing then you can strictly do cyphers. txt and audio, battles and cyphers..... check it out bro.

  4. #4
    Meh nothing special.

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