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Thread: Is This Lyrical 2

  1. #1
    Senior Member ShaneM's Avatar
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    Is This Lyrical 2

    Last time I posted a verse on here I got some helpful tips. And I used some of them tips and am curious on what else the trtn people could give to me to help my writing improve. So although this doesn't have anything thats real deep or meaningful, does anyone think its lyrical and why?



    Somethin ta come with uh head huntin flow, nothin but droppin the best I can go


    Tuggin and sluggin and lovin and chuggin and snuggin and clutchin the pumped in no pluggin ears


    Buggin confrontin me dumpin these bumpin schemes slumpin me comin weak just shit dream nothin near


    Drunk with the bussin the led spittin flow, nuff of the gun poppin now rest be more slow



    I arrived to the beat, so I could distinguish waves


    Of bars then make the instrumental disintigrate


    My main objective to murder the beat makin stabs at it


    My tongue a mighty javalin attackin to pass the skin



    Honestly still wanna make tweaks, godly astonishing feat.


    Wanna make a verse so cold I'll be unthawing for weeks


    Talk about pushing the peak, cautious when plotting on beats


    Gotta make a verse so dope the beats drugs like weed



    Constant practice the best advice when you look on the internet


    Not much to go off so I write and I hope I figure best


    Method to use but I greatly improved sense I first got interest and


    Gettin a boost from my redundent use and leaving rappers inspected



    Something good or bad to say or nothing at all, let me have it.


  2. #2


    I'm not really feeling it. I'd like to note, that in some cases for what ever reason, sometimes its hard to tell which direction an artist is trying to go until its recorded in audio format. words dope or not, it also has a lot to do with delivery. don't focus on just one thing either. I did that, and ya i can write, but now im playin catch up with the recording programs, my flow and sound. btw. dont necassarily take my advice. its only an opinion and someone more educated or experienced may have something different to say. but i figured if at least comment since nobody has yet.

  3. #3


    shit was actually good bro..... your multi -syllable rhymes were dope, i like the lyrical content, you should have used your computers sound recorder and recorded this and then posted it........ alot of people that dont rap arent gonna get the rhyme structure and how things are supposed to flow...... if you dont feel like you can do it verbally then just practice it until it sounds coming out of your mouth the way it does in your head..... other then that homie shit was pretty dope.....





    you should check out a website i use called letsbeef.com it a great way to get some critiques on your lyricss and/or music period..... if battling isn't your thing then you can strictly do cyphers. txt and audio, battles and cyphers..... check it out bro.

  4. #4
    Meh nothing special.

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