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Thread: My Rap

  1. #1
    Senior Member ShaneM's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
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    My Rap

    I been wanting to improve my rhyming skills and flow latley. So basically I just need your advice. This is what I wrote to the "Beautiful Music" instrumental.



    I been lookin into rhyme tryin to find myself to shineLike a torch in a dark cavern with no lit timeBut its like the def tryin to read lips on a personWith full facial hair no teeth no spares in


    But I be tearin till its a bare wastelandBut I be there in with skill paired with bass lineI be snarin people in like the great landNot a trick like a rabbit but a great plan


    Chuckin out bricks as Im burnin on the wickLeads to the dinomite, BOOM still got uh gripAnd thoughts to spit paired with alotta of witzReady to spit fissures shit like gizzards whip


    Rip off the skin cause intense heat built inLet the blood go no tampon filled inLike a Champion just bang down hills skinnedThe dirts like a skillet, stove knob tilted


    Tilted like a helix as I go spill thisrough family history full of daily fitsUp in a mystery exposed young human sitsListens and watches, reinacts this shit


    Adds to his spittin see them actin differentNows its all boring go work on his literateNeed some advice to get better within momentCause these ideas just be inside still roastin



    I didn't record anything. This is just the link to the instrumental.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H812RxooQpQ


  2. #2


    it doesn't make any sense

  3. #3


    TO give you some info, its not that we can just sit here and analyze your lyrics. Half of it is how your is gonna be when rapping, and also the quality of how it sounds. and dont try to rap over a tech beat because you will get compared to him and your not gonna ever top what he does to his tracks. make you lyrics a bit more meaningful like some shit ppl can relate to.

  4. #4
    Senior Member ShaneM's Avatar
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    It does if you understand the metaphors, and VeetSkeetBeats I wasn't thinking of being compared to Tech so thats well noted. Thanks for the read.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jake Williams

    it doesn't make any sense

  5. #5
    Senior Member NickRitter's Avatar
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    I love to rap on tech's song beats, i think it is beneficial because I know them pretty well. Your lyrics are definitely not bad, you could try adding more complex rhymes, such as multi syllable, but that will change how you flow. Keep writing and making songs and just do what you want man. It is a lot easier to write to stuff also if you have a clear idea before you start writing. Keep it up

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