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Thread: AN SONG I WROTE.....PLEASE GIVE OPINIONS

  1. #1
    Junior Member xDJxERMACx's Avatar
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    AN SONG I WROTE.....PLEASE GIVE OPINIONS

    TOMORROW


    <p ="text-align: left;"> [/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">TOMORROW I WILL DIE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">I GOTTA SAY MY FINALLY GOOD BYES[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">IF ONLY IF I HAVE SOMEBODY TO TALK TO[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">IF ONLY YOU KNOW WHAT IM GOING THROUGH[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">CAN ANYBODY SEE ME[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">IM TRAP AND I WILL NEVER BE FREE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">TOMORROW I WILL DIE FOR SURE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">ALL MY LIFE I WAS INSECURE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">I HAVE HAVE NOTHING BUT HOPELESS DREAMS[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">EVERY SECOND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">I CANT BECOME IM WAY TO SHY[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">TOMORROW I WILL DIE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">I CANT GET AN JOB OR AN GIRL[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">WHY DID GOD BRING ME IN THIS WORLD[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">I HAVE NO REASON TO LIVE FOR[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">IS THIS IT FOR MY LIFE OR IS IT MORE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">TOMORROW I WILL DIE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;">TOMORROW I WILL DIE[/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;"> [/p]
    <p ="text-align: left;"> [/p]

  2. #2


    Depressing...death sucks, LIVE BRO!!!!!

  3. #3
    Senior Member ShaneM's Avatar
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    Not to be an ass. But you only put "an" if the word after starts with a vowel. And you misused "know" on the fourth line. Regardless of that stuff. I like the emotion I can feel from this which is far more important to me. It seems some thoughts where not fully written out though. But I don't know if you intended that. I also like that you didn't rhyme so much and where honest with the title of the post.

  4. #4
    Senior Member mattmeyer's Avatar
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    "An song" = Doesn't read.

  5. #5
    Senior Member ₡₱♛'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by matt meyer

    "An song" = Doesn't read.

  6. #6


    definitely emotive. wanted to leave feedback (however minimal) because like shane said, it's very refreshing to see somebody posting something with an honest title!

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