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Thread: Do You Think This Is Good?

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
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    19

    Do You Think This Is Good?

    My first verse over a beat so don't hate.



    PS: I don't hate god or anything thats just what came to mind.



    (Intro)


    (wait for the first uuuuuuuh then start)


    rappin over demons, lyrics make you squeamishweak people fear this, scaryness was the jist


    In school Im the weird kid, don't talk much everydayjust go in to sit, do nothing from mondayall the way to friday, this is just my wayplenty just like me, others see us as scary



    (Chorus X2)


    But now Im in the rap , not into crap manhere to delivery lyrically, gonna appeal to manySo don't you dare test me, or your gonna see the worst of meLyrics straight from hell, somewhere along the line I fell



    (Verse 1)


    Im comin up from hell, no this is not swellworld will have to dealt, with me they shallPut a bullet in my dome, send me straight back to homebut they can't do that, cause Im immortalno need to be strapped with a gat, just my hands rawClaws of a demon, ready to pull a deep sintear you up in half, make a blood baththen after words I sit in my house just to laughAt first look im a devil, look I got hornsMe and goodness we sevor, Then after I sworeto get back at the holy one, cause me he shunWhen I see Him im gonna lunge, straight to him im gonna plungefor hell he left me to hung, I hung aside a tonAt first it wasn't fun, wanted to shoot it with a gunthen I started to love it, goodness Im above itPriest can take and shove it, cause I had enough of it



    (Chorus X2)


    But now Im in the rap , not into crap manhere to delivery lyrically, gonna appeal to manySo don't you dare test me, or your gonna see the worst of meLyrics straight from hell, somewhere along the line I fell



    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6baxXRwk6f4


  2. #2


    okkk sooo...im just gonna be straightforward here because i think anybody whos doing music needs some criticism to get better. but remember you asked so listen to what i have to say with an open mind and dont take offense to it. im not judging you just trying to help out.





    i have been doing music for about six or seven years now on and off, i remember my first song, it was garbage lol. that being said lets get into yours





    the structure isnt your basic 16 bars chorus 16 bars chorus but thats fine u dont need to follow the structure.


    the lyrics are pretty simple they dont seem to all flow together with rhythm which is something that takes time i wudnt be so worried about that yet as long as you keep writing and practice recording that will get better with time.


    the main point i want to make is try to shy away from talking about very similar things than the artists who did the actual song on the beat your using or it will seem like you are lacking creative ability or even worse had to copy someone else.


    but i do feel where you were trying to go with it overall not bad for a first time...it wasnt good but no one is good their first few times shit. i didnt even get better until after my first whole mixtape lol.


    so just keep practicing shit man. im sure youll do fine if you want to put in time to make some decent songs.





    so overall judgement song=not good,


    but considering its your first time. its not so bad.


    hope i ccould help keep it up laterrrr

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Posts
    19
    I appreciate your feedback. Do you have any tips on the flow on how I should practice or anything like that?

  4. #4


    well not specifically but... i do know forced things dont come out so well... so just always do what feels natural to you. its so important to make the music come alive more doing whats natural.





    and to be honest if you can do this without copying too much it could help cuz this is what helped me.





    i used to listen to all my favorite songs mostly tech, some pac some bone thugs eminem and many others whatever floats your boat, and i would listen to my favorites songs so much that i knew all the words then once i knew the words i was able to rap along with the songs on point. like for instance say tech n9ne and lee jos now its on or techs breathe. those r really fast rapping songs. but to my surprise i knew the songs so well and sang them so much that i could regurgatate the verses he did in them exactly how he did them. i mean word for word as far as flow goes i obviously couldnt deliver it as good as tech on the mic or id be signed by strange by now lol, but it did increase my ability to flow fast and do different stuff tremendously my music is far from great but ive come a long way and people do say they enjoy some of my stuff sometimes people will ask me how did i learn to rap so fast or watever, which i dont always do and i remember it was a learned thing. practicing other peoples songs helped me to develope so maybe you can try that route thats just what worked for me but it could help you too.





    just remember do what feels natural too you and even if you do practice ur favorite artists songs and they are rapping fast doesnt mean you HAVE to rap that way because you can. its good to learn but just go your own way and be comfortable no forcing. hope that helps good luck too you man

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