5 Things That Would Be Infinitely More Awesome If Krizz Kaliko Narrated Them

Aug 27 2013

Krizz Kaliko Narrator

It’s no secret that Krizz Kaliko has one of the most amazing voices in music. He can rap, he can sing, and he can even do that “in a world” movie guy narrator voice.

While sitting around listening to the vocal awesomeness that is Son Of Sam, we started thinking…what if Krizz could just narrate stuff in your day to day life? How sick would that be?

The list below is the results of such pondering, and will leave you wishing you could make a Kaliko clone to follow you around and make your day more bearable:

5. Your horrible day job

Office Space If we’re being totally honest right now, you probably hate your job. That’s ok, most of us do, but just think how much easier it would be to get through the day if you had Krizz belting out some soulful goodness behind you in your cubicle all day! Imagine Krizz hiding behind you in meetings, every time you come up with an idea your boss just hears “GENIUS! AHHHHH!!!” out of nowhere…you’d be on your way to a promotion in no time.

4. The DMV


The DMV is one of the most sinister places to ever exist. Time stands still, and absolutely no one wants to be there, especially the people in charge of getting you what you need. But what if instead of sitting around and waiting for that annoying robot voice to call out a number that seemingly nobody even has, you had Kaliko in the corner, “B6 TIIIIME TO GET YOUR LIIIIICENSE AHA!”. It would be incredible, and you might actually be smiling in your new picture instead of it looking like you just woke up for a mugshot.

3. Sex Ed

Sex EdSexual Education was probably pretty awkward for everybody, unless you were home schooled, then it was REALLY awkward. But how much better would the world be if Krizz was the one teaching the class? You would get to hear Krizz tell the class “We all need sex,” and inevitably you would hear “TITTIESSSSS”. It might not be the most scientifically accurate class ever taught, but chances are you’d walk out of that class feelin’ like Ron Jeremy in the 80s.

2. The Grocery Store

Krizz bakeryNeed we say more? This would be amazing. “I be talkin chex mix, chex mix, chex mix”. This would only work a few times however, as you’d probably end up spending entirely too much money buying things just because they sound awesome when Krizz sings about them. We don’t even LIKE chicken livers, but you don’t argue with a voice like that.

1. The Bar / Club

Krizz BartenderThink about it. First of all, Krizz would be the best wingman EVER. You’d be almost guaranteed to get so many numbers your phone would explode. Imagine walking up to a group of girls with Krizz and just having him sing “Do you drink”? Of course they do, they’re at a bar, but they’re not even thinking about the redundancy of that question, they’re melting to the tune of Kali’s magical pipes. And if it’s Karaoke night? Shiiiiit, you’re set.

Well, there’s 5 things that you’ll never be able to do again without thinking of Krizz Kaliko. Hope y’all had a good chuckle or two! Make sure to hit up iTunes or Best Buy to cop Son Of Sam!

(Includes 3 Bonus Tracks!)


  • What are some other things Krizz should narrate?
  • What’s your favorite track on Son Of Sam?

Leave a comment below and let us know!