‘K.O.D.’ – Fans Reflect With Stories Of Struggle And Inspiration

Oct 17 2012

‘K.O.D.’ – Fans Reflect With Stories Of Struggle And Inspiration

For an album said to be Tech N9ne’s darkest, K.O.D. ironically signaled a turning point in the lives of many and inspired them to recover from the curve balls that life had thrown their way.

In anticipation of Tech N9ne’s Boiling Point, we decided to give Technicians a platform to share their stories and remind us what the power of music can do.

From addiction to the loss of loved ones, these individuals have shown an immense amount of strength and perseverance, much of which was fueled by Tech N9ne’s open-book narratives on K.O.D.

We never imagined just how much of an impact this album truly had.

These are their stories, in their own words.


Jessyka Winters Submission

Hi my name is Jessyka

I seen that your wanting stories on if and how TECH N9NE’S KOD album helped get us fans through hard times and that’s EXACTLY what KOD did for me, not just KOD but ALL of them! Tech sharing his hard times is what has ALWAYS helped me get through ALL my hard times..

Starting with a rollover car wreck back where the truck(added pic) i was in flipped 13-15x down a hill on I-470 HW heading to BlueSprings,Mo. I broke my pelvis n 4 spots, clavical, 4 ribs,ankle,lost my kidney,& had severe internal bleeding due to lacerations in my spleen,liver,pancreas, and gall bladder! I was all fucked up..the whole time being layed up, music is what got me through..But when KOD came out I had that shit on REPEAT because i was in and out of the hospital due to severe pain i kept having in my side right under my left tit.

I kept getting admitted for 1-3 days and they couldn’t figure out what the hell was wrong so all they would do is get my vomiting and pain under control and then up my Oxycontin and Fentanyl and send my ass home. At one point I was living on eight 80mg OC’s a day, 100mg fentanyl patch, plus 7 other narcotics to TRY & control pain! I was very depressed and KOD was, in a way, my real medicine, the ONLY thing that was healing or helping in any way!

Knowing he was going through hard times also made me feel connected to him in a way and it helped.. After about 2 weeks I ended up having surgery, they removed my gall bladder and appendix-I even spent 3 days in ICU for internal bleeding after that b/c something didn’t heal up after surgery and i was only allowed my music, without it i would have went crazy!! I found out a few days later that surgery & all I went through was for NO DAMN REASON b/c a specialist found out my problem the whole time was ‘Pancreatitus’ which i will deal with my whole life BUT when times get tough i will turn to TechN9ne and all the other StrangeMusicInc artists and I know their music will help get me through whatever, and I thank them for that 🙂


KOD was the first Tech N9ne Album I bought. I wasn’t really a Technician at the time, but I had really liked a lot of the music I heard from Tech from older albums. Killer, Everready, Misery Loves Company. But when K.O.D. dropped, I was going through an extremely tough time in my life. My father had abandoned me, I had been suffering from extreme suicidal depression from years of social abuse from classmates, parents, and other people.

When King of Darkness came out, I snapped it up first chance I got. When I first listened through it, I picked out the songs I really really liked. “Shadows On The Road”, “Low”, “Killing You” (which was kind of a guilty pleasure). I wasn’t at the time completely honest with myself or the people around me about my love of rap or hip hop and some of the lyrical content made me uncomfortable (being a teenager). But the more I listened to the dark and gritty tales of life, I felt an extremely deep connection with Tech. I drifted off to sleep many night to “Shadows On The Road”. Dreamt of the day K.O.D might come true and people could live in a world like that. The music acted almost like an outlet for my pain.

Being clinically depressed my whole life and feeling completely alone, it was a huge… comfort I guess to discover someone else who was going through the miseries of life. I never truly appreciated the album for what it was until years later. It actually took me hearing the song “Dysfunctional”, off Sickology 101 to truly make me take up the Technician flag. I went out and grabbed up every Tech Album I could get my hands on and immediately set out to learn the History of Strange Music.

Only in the last 2 years have I truly been able to appreciate all of Tech’s work being new to Rap. As I matured, I was able to fully take K.O.D. inside of me. The mistreatment and discrimination of a talented individual sends shockwaves in art. Every single verse written meant something huge to me. K.O.D. will always be what it felt in my mind, the peak of Tech’s work. Not to say his work since hasn’t been fantastic, but K.O.D was something really special. And it took alot of anger and pain to write those songs and make that album. I would not wish it on anyone. And I am glad he was able to turn it into the masterpiece he did. It was great to look to the present and see Tech having got out of that slump in his life and move on and get back to enjoying himself a little.

With Boiling Point on the Horizon, I wonder the severity of the pain he will give to us again. I would not wish it on him, but if he has to give it to us, I will be glad to have it. To this day I still listen to K.O.D. for relief. And the more time passes, the more my bond with that Album grows. I know I can always fall back on it when shit gets bad. Tech’s my hero for doing this. And if he’s going to do it again, it’ll only make me love him more for it.

Technician for Life

Yo Strange Music, Tech N9ne..just wanted to drop some words for why the K.O.D. collection means so much to me!.

Since 2007 i have been dealing with nothing but death, heartache, destruction, addiction, temptation, guilt, sin..whatever you want to call it. It started with losing my father to alchoholism in 2007…ppl keep tellin me my father was a pussy lush who dove into the bottle instead of getting professional help..yet they don’t understand the demons of addiction.

He passed away in the most tragic way possible, didn’t even remember who i was…then a year later i lost one of my best and closest friends to a tragic accident at the Robin Hood mill in Saskatoon. He fell 50 feet to his death…since then i’ve been diagnosed with anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder, and was living a life with a wall up.

“Show Me A God” and “Leave Me Alone” are two of the most powerful songs on K.O.D. in my opinion. They’ve been giving me a sense of security and well being and also gave me a sense of knowing that i’m not alone in these times of trouble. Even when i wanted to take my own life, I powered on and thanks to the blessing of my mother’s strength I’m living a healthy life and am more alive than ever. But every day I think about what kind of a person i would be had i not dealt with all these cards that we thrown my way at such a young age.

I thank Tech N9ne and the strange music crew for keeping music real and passing the message of strange music to the masses. You’ve definitely made a difference in my life through your music so thank you.


Sean Mauerhoff
Saskatoon Saskatchewan Canada


In January of 2011, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome, meaning that the left side was smaller than the right. Her first open heart surgery lasted 15 hours with the doctor never leaving the room. We stayed in the waiting room all night. She had two more surgeries after that. We were called right after getting back to the hotel room one night.

We were told that we needed to come back to the hospital. The doctor met with us and told us that she wasn’t going to make it. Her body wasn’t taking over to control itself. Our little angel was only 22 days old.

“Show Me A God” by Tech N9ne was the song I turned to when I was pissed and trying to figure how He could take a baby. Listening to that song just always made me feel better. And it still does on some days.

Thank you Tech for such fantastic music.
Kelsey Peveto


When the album came was released, I purchased it as a Christmas gift for my nephew. My nephew was in a rehabilitation center recovering from gunshot wounds. His brother in law had beef and decided a gun was the best way to handle things. Bullets severed my nephews carotid and jugular veins, which it is miraculous he even survived. He spent over six months in recovery he suffered a stroke. He was 23 at the time, prime if life, good looking full of energy and a hard laborer. His and my families lives were forever changed, the stroke left him unable to speak and his right side paralyzed.

During this time both he and I spent alot of time listening to K.O.D, “Show Me A God,”was the song that hit home the most. I spent many days driving from city to city to be has side, most nights I would get drunk listening to the album in trauma. It is 3 years later, we still jam these songs like crazy he is still unable to speak. Things are tough, it pains me to seem him everyday, he has a long scar from his neck that encircles his skull, and that serves as a reminder that life is precious.

We are from a small town Las Vegas new Mexico so rehabilitation services are scarce. That album have me strength to carry on and yes I pretty much listen to tech religiously. Always a fan, for my nephew Jonas Montoya and myself Jessica Montoya, you will always be an inspiration to us.


In May of this year, my father ended up in the e.r. with very high fever. They found out what was wrong, they had to airlift him to a hospital that had more staff on hand to help him. Within the first few days in icu we had been told by specialists that he had endocarditis(causing all organs to shut down).

The doctors had him on so many antibiotics trying to get in under control. For the next few weeks we had him on life suppoet and induced into a coma state cause he was fighting everything.

On June 1 we had to take him off life support because his body and organs have officially shut down. The doctors said he had a few days left on this earth. On June 3rd 2012, I have lost my dad.

Since he got admitted, the only album that I played was K.O.D. and for the next few months thats all I listened to. That album made me understand that bad things happen to good people. That just his plan.

– Justin Sane


K.O.D. Has infact changed my life. I am a upcoming rapper from Long Beach, cali. All my life I felt different, like a black sheep. Music has been my only therapy throughout life. I am ashamed to say before now I have neva followed techs music but this past year a friend of mine took me to the Hostile Takeover 2012 Tour n it changed my life.

I immediately went home n did my research and I was blown away…songs from tech such as, “This Ring”, “Pinocchiho”, “Leave Me Alone”, “Far Away”, and Krizz Kaliko’s “Bipolar” have truly depicted my life, because of tech I am a better emcee today because I know WHO I AM as a emcee.

Tech inspires me to keep it real no matta how ugly the truth is and the fans will appreciate it. My ultimate dream would be to record a track wit Tech. The world deserves it.

#Strange #MemoirsOfAMadMan – blaklaz


Ok I’m not going to lie when K.O.D first came out I did not like it that much but then when my mother passed anyway in the summer of 2011.

I stated to understand where TECH was coming from with song like “Show Me A God”, “Leave Me Alone”, and “Low” cuz that was the darkest time of my life and during the rest of that summer that was all that I was listing to was K.O.D and I think if was not for your music Idk how I would have gotten through that summer so I just want to thank you Tech and all of strange music for all the music that you have done and I’m 17 by the way.

– Steven Hernandez


I can honestly say Tech N9ne has helped me through the hardest trials and darkest times I’ve had to date. Every album I find differnent kinds of therapy in, but K.O.D. always will be my first, and favorite Tech N9ne album. I found tech after Killer in 08, right after my Brother was diagnosed with brain cancer (after a year of mis-diagnosing).

When K.O.D. was released I was convinced that he made the album for me. The words, the intruments, every dark note that echoed from that album seemed to perfectly suit all the bitterness and anger building up in me. His music understood me, and in some ways, calmed me down. Knowing I wasn’t alone in fighting cancer for my family member brought me that much closer to Tech it felt. “Show Me A God” and “Low” was on repeat for so long my music player still shows it as top played. Having this album in my life was a turning point, an eye opening turning point that revealed a whole new level of music my then naive self then did not even fathom.

If I could tell Tech how much he’s done for me in his music, he’d have another album. There’s nothing like this CD, no comparison to the healing powers it can have, and absolutely no one better than the king of darkness.

– Erik Rittgarn


My name is Kat Gasseling and I am the definition of a Technician. Ive been listening to the great Tech N9ne for years now. Tech N9ne is by far my favorite artist for more than just his music, but because of the appreciation he has for his fans. No other artist is like that. He has inspired me and motivated me through his music on many occasions. But I have never been as affected by his music than when K.O.D hit the stores.

At first I couldn’t explain it, but the Darkness he speaks of I am all to familar with. Anxiety flowed through my veins and consumed me everyday. Painkillers made the problem go away until they wore off. I did bad things to the one I loved most and my inner light slowly faded to dark. While getting sober K.O.D gave me a sense of knowing that I am not alone. Because I desperately needed to know that there are others that are going through the same thing.

When sober, I discovered I truly am an Angel/Demon. My heart is full of love but my brain is full of hate. Tech N9ne wrote this album knowing people would criticize him for being more of a devil worshiper and that gave me comfort. Proving that those people who say that are ignorant and dont understand him at all. He wrote K.O.D in a dark time in his life just like I listened to it in a dark time in mine. To me, K.O.D was very inspiring simply because I was only 20 and now had started getting a grasp of who I am inside. An Angel/Demon. The songs I love the most are “Demons”, but really only Tech’s Part, “Horns”, “The Martini”, and especially “Shadows On The Road”. That song just clicked because I do know about shadows and darkness and they never go away and they sometimes like to show up and take over, but my angelic side proves stronger.

I will always support Tech N9ne, BUY his music, and spread his word. K.O.D is my favorite album and always will be, even though I love and I mean LOVE all his albums K.O.D just came out at the right time. And for that im internally grateful.

The Queen Of Darkness


NOTE: This blog will be updated weekly with new submissions.

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